YouTube has tubs of "ex-gays" who love to give their testimony on how God delivered them from the excruciating pain and sheer horror of homosexuality. One caught my attention because he didn't seem to go through all the molesting and sexual exploitation most 'former' homosexuals go through that made them hate homosexuality. I wrote a comment on his first YouTube video that he responded back to and after a few more comments we decided he should write me privately.
It started with me linking him to my blog testimony (in the tags below) in response to what he said in his video and I went further with saying; "Please, look over my blog and I will be glad to answer any question or walk you through whatever you need help with."
He wrote me back:
"So I've been reading through your testimony and I have to say that I quite understand your point of you, but you also have to know that what led me to where I am today is not according to men but according to the direction God put me into from the beginning. I would like to tell you more about my testimony now though it is quite long (this is an understatement from him), I don't have any blog to redirect you to but if you're interested in reading my story I'm ready to write it down for you in an email.
Let me know!"
"I would love to here what you have to say (big mistake)."
NEXT thing I get is paragraph after paragraph of what was him telling me all kinds of personal issues including spiritual visions people seem to have approached him with when he was young to not be gay, God telling him to leave his first boyfriend and the Holy Spirit telling him he'll get all kinds of spiritual gifts and presents if the boyfriend isn't in the picture anymore (the Trinity really had it in for this particular boyfriend). He finally ended up leaving the boyfriend because of all the Holy badgering and all of a sudden communication was cut off from God's end, the Holy Spirit never gave him his wonderful presents that were promised and he becomes so despondent, he quit school, moved back to his parents and contemplated suicide. He ends up in ANOTHER gay relationship that this time is abusive and all of a sudden God decides to pop into his life again like a deadbeat dad who's kid just turned 18 to tell him stop being gay, again. This time it sticks and God didn't drop him later.
It all sounded odd and almost like a late-nite telenovela you find on the Telemundo channel, but with God causing the melodrama. I wrote him back with trying to find a place to start with what he wrote:
"My first issue is with how you think the Holy Spirit made you promises if you obey that made you feel you had to leave your boyfriend. The Holy Spirit doesn't work that way in being conditional in what He offers. All we desire from the Holy Spirit is there for the asking and if it's not imparted to us? God's Will trumps our desire in His perfect wisdom. I noticed you had people around you (the people in the church you grew up in, the girl who came to you with her dream, the mother) who put in you that the love you had was wrong early on. I think they had more of an impact on you than you know. You're life collapsed AFTER you left your first boyfriend at the 'prompting' of God that started your spiritual journey? Do you think maybe the choices you made were not from God and that is why your life fell apart and you felt God abandoned you? You get another boyfriend who seems abusive and it was only then God came to you again? I see all kinds of wrong here already.
I stopped reading your testimony at this point because I want you to understand something brother. God is not a roller coaster of feelings and prophetic dreams and audible visitations. This is why we go by his Word that gives us discernment with what is from God and what isn't. I believe what has happened to you is you really believing God has brought you to this point, but if homosexuality is not a sin (remember the verses I brought up in your YouTube comment and how I put then in their correct context?), God's Holy Spirit wouldn't have been doing what you believe Him to be doing. As a Pentecostal I know full well the dangers of going by spiritual manifestations that are the work of the mind and flesh. Now what I see here could also be a case of if you truly believe homosexuality is sin, even though the case can't be made from the Bible, maybe God did leave you in your will to leave homosexuality because it became a stumbling block to you, THAT I understand."
The next e-mail from him:
"Franck you should expect have a debate with me on this only after reading the all story. Apparently you didn't understand that I've spend hours writing It just for you and this is really disrespectful.
You did the same with the video?
Or you're not interested in my story and you move on or you take the time to consider what I said because you can not expect me to listen to what you have to say if you didn't even try with me ... And it makes you write a lot of nonsense that I can't answer, because the answers are found in the rest of what you didn't take the time to consider (they weren't because after he wrote me this I read everything he said)."
"There is no debate with you because I never wanted to debate you in how we came to be in our different paths. Is that how you saw all this? We all have a testimony who have sought God and many times those testimonies contradict each other, who is right? The testimony that is in line with the Word of God outside of experiences and emotion. You say I disrespected you with not reading your whole testimony and I understand your anger because you are right, but what I had to say about the first few paragraphs of what you wrote you didn't even respond to so we could go on from there.
What I wrote was not nonsense because you didn't understand it or wanted to accept it.